We all, at one time or another, have experienced the harsh feelings of anger and resentment brought into our lives by another.Whether it be a horrible ex-boss, an ex-spouse, a hurtful friend or family member. Even an incidental encounter with a stranger can have a greater negative impact than expected, lingering on far longer than you thought it would or should.
Yes, it's perfectly reasonable to be appropriately angry and resentful when you are hurt, whatever the situation you have found your self in, but you must know that holding on too long to these negative emotions loses its intended effectiveness of dealing and moving forward by holding you back with a very heavy load to carry.
In essence, what I am trying to convey to you is that you cannot live a life full of gratitude and acceptance if you harbor old resentments along the way. These issues, if not dealt with properly and put aside, will haunt you forever.You must rid yourself of this heavy load. No one gains from your anger, it only makes you miserable and holds you back. It only overshadows your future experiences in a negative light. The only one you are in constant battle with is yourself, and deep down inside you know this to be true. You cannot continue to blame others for your misery. At some point you have to take full responsibility for your own feelings and stop blaming others.
Brighten your future by deciding to not allow room in your being for this negativism to stay around, and in turn, rule your thoughts and processes. However you decide to go about this is your journey. It could come in the form of confrontation (in a peaceful and adult manner) with this individual by letting them know how they have affected you, and then either try and reconcile or move on without them in your life. Be careful if you go into this conversation with great expectations of validation, because this may not happen. Therefore, you will have to prepare yourself for whatever the end result is as far as your relationship goes.
In some cases, a conversation is just not possible. The other party may be long gone already, either by death or distance, or you just don't want anything to do with them any longer. When this occurs, you must search inside yourself and have your own personal conversation. Either way, it is imperative that you seek the lesson to be learned from each of these experiences and try to never to allow yourself to revisit them in a physical sense, only to remember them in order to keep on track.
Choose to be happy, not angry. Choose to walk forward, not back. Choose acceptance over sorrow. Choose to live and let go!
Sometimes you have to move on from a toxic relationship whether it be friend or family. If talking about the situation with the other party is of no use, accept that this is the way it is and move ahead. You tried!
ReplyDeleteOh great topic Doll!! so, so true and truly good advice..i remember Oprah saying that holding a grudge is like taking poison expecting the other person to die!! and how forgiveness doesn't mean what someone did was o.k.,it's not giving in but giving up the hope things could've been different,what's done is done but the future starts now!..so you know i feel you Doll and couldn't agree more..LET GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis was a perfect post for my situation today. My boss is out of control... greedy with a persecution complex. Always the victim. Her motto today was, "It's all about the cash" I was so angry and hurt. So reading this has helped a great deal. Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous....I read your comment right before I went to bead last night and so glad I did. I am quite please to hear that this post has helped you feel a bit better about your situation. I have had to deal with one certifiably crazy boss for many years (right before I had my first child and was about to finally quit with a smile) who, in retrospect, I have come to the conclusion was bipolar and not treated. That being said, I know how difficult, especially in the economy where jobs are not plentiful, it must be to endure this horrible woman on a daily basis. My Best to You... :)
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