Friday, July 1, 2011

Telling others how PROUD you are of them is most important and we all need to hear it....

We are all born with the basic need to feel loved and accepted. One of the ways in which we show each other our fondness is by telling them how proud we are of them. We need to hear such things from our friends, peers, loved ones, and most of all, our parents (or caregivers). The act of telling your children how proud you are of them is one of the many fundamental building blocks of a healthy self image.

In order for us to feel good about who we are (and in turn feel good about those we choose to surround ourselves with) we must feel a sense of worth and importance. This positive self image is then perpetuated by the way in which we treat others as well as ourselves. If someone expresses that they really never care about how others feel about them, or that they don't require approval of any kind, they are not being truthful with you and most importantly, are lying to themselves. They are in denial and therefore, at times, can seem cold and unaffected.

If we are not nurtured with prideful caregivers, this leaves us forever seeking approval in others, often at our own expense. We then become victims and travel in the same dysfunctional circle for a lifetime, never finding the peace within ourselves to know that we are important and that we can accomplish great things; always wondering why we are not good enough and why life is so unfair. When a parent neglects their child in this way, they feel either consciously or subconsciously a sense of emptiness or a void. Until they are able to revisit and resolve their parents/care giver's shameful behavior and come to realize that the rejection they have felt had nothing to do with them but with the caregivers themselves, they will not have inner peace.

I share this subject today, with you, dear reader, for I was inspired (yesterday) by some one very special and important to me who has gone out of their way to show me this type of acceptance over the past few weeks. And for this, I am truly grateful. My hope for you is to help free you up of any old negative preconceptions about your worthiness and abilities.

We all have many accomplishments to be proud of. These accomplishments need not be monumental. They could be as simple as just getting through a rough day, not loosing your temper, helping out a dear friend, finishing a project on time, or smiling when you feel like crying. You should be proud of yourself each and every day. You should also say the words out loud: "I am very proud of you!" to those who deserve it, when it is appropriate and true.  These kind words should mean as much to you as to the recipient. Now, watch their face light up with delight!

Be Proud. Be Happy. Be True.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Saying "I Love You" often and honestly.......

The three most powerful words ever spoken from one to another: "I Love You". When spoken with an honest and open heart, this phrase carries the most weight when voicing our true feelings of closeness. On the other hand, these same words, when spoken with a cold and calculating heart, can be the most manipulative and selfish words uttered to another.

I make it a point to tell the ones I care for deeply that I love them often. Whether it be in person, on the phone, via e-mail, text or by any other means of communication. When I speak or write these words, I mean them every time. I hold great reverence for this phrase and would never use it for any reason other than the purpose than it implies.

Unfortunately, I cannot say this for everyone. I cannot hold true that whoever says this phrase honestly means it. I have seen and heard this phrase being misused and abused by many. I have come to learn that these insincere individuals take advantage of others by using these words to manipulate and hold power. You see, dear reader, "I love you" holds much power because of its monumental meaning.

I would like you to take a bit more time to show your love and to speak it out loud as often as necessary with grace. You may find by doing this that the recipients will be more receptive to your true feelings than you might have otherwise thought. People do need to hear these words from their loved ones. It's a positive affirmation as well as a call to comfort and acceptance. We all need to be loved, and to know that we are loved is of utmost importance. Please also be mindful of those around you who are not sincere in expressing their love for you. Look to see beyond these words for what ulterior motive may be behind it. Do not allow yourself to succumb to another's lies and deceit in order to fulfill a need. It will only end in a most hurtful and painful way.

My hope for you, dear reader, is to have a life filled with love and laughter. To be happy and secure within yourself so that you can share your love with one another in a most pure and beautiful way. With only sincere intentions, and an open heart.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

One great big hug after another, for one another.......

I am and have always a been a big hugger. It must be the Italian in me (100 percent!). It must also be from being from such a large family. You see every time we all got together, which could be up to several times a week, I went around and gave every single person in the room a bug hug. We all did. Big hugs and big smiles.

When you are allowed and encouraged to express yourself in this very personal way as a child, you find that it becomes second nature through out your adult life. You also find that it becomes a necessity. You feel compelled to give out hugs freely and you in turn accept their warmth in embrace openly.

There is no other feeling that I know of that can replace what a hug does for your mental well being. I cannot completely express all of the emotions that are awakened with the act of hugging, for they are so vast and encompassing. But what I can share is that they release a multitude of endorphins into your system bringing you to a happy place (a peaceful resting stop, if you may).

I write about this subject today, dear reader, for the ones who have not had the opportunity to be given the gift of hugging. By this I mean that they were raised devoid of expressing themselves on this level of connection. To the ones that find it hard to let people get close on a physical level. To those who find it most difficult to let go and wrap their arms around another in a long, warm, and sincere embrace. Not being able to connect on this level and therefore not able to experience the pure comfort and acceptance with such closeness.

When you do not know how to allow others to get close to you in a physical way, in many cases, you also may find that your emotional output is also stunted and that you cannot get as close to people as you might like to because you have not be taught (from infancy/childhood) how to do so. The result is a lack of trust and connectedness to rest of the world around you.

While we innately as humans are born with the desire to feel warmth and comfort, the act of hugging is nurtured into each individual. With much repetition, we associate hugging with feelings of expressing love. These hugging connections are made in the brain at the earliest of developmental stages. Continued exposure to this activity strengthens ones' desire to perform this loving action.

My hope is that you all, dear readers, give and receive as many hugs as possible and if you have difficulties with this issue, that you can find some way, deep within yourself to reach out to those around you and give it a try. Once you feel the power of a true hug you will forever be a believer. Hugs heal. Hugs give comfort. Hugs show acceptance. Hugs are love.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

We all run in Circles........

One could consider life's journey as a series of circles. In the beginning we all have one main circle of life to complete. While traveling along this circle we will find offshoots of connecting circles that also need to be completed. All of the spheres intertwined with every other individual we come across connecting us all in one way or another. Either traveling along the same circle for a short or long period depending on our spiritual needs.

Some circles are thicker and therefore more complex to navigate along. While others will be small and narrow, shorter and easier, if you will. The common denominating factor of each and every one is that they must all be completed in order to reach a more peaceful and harmonious life. For each circle's completion holds a journey filled with wisdom and enlightenment. If certain circles are not completed you will find yourself continually on a dead-end path that brings only frustration and rejection with a lower sense of one's self.

At times, we may find that a certain circle has become weak or broken or that we ourselves have become weary and tired from traveling so long on it. In these case, we must makes many choices. Do you try and fix it and continue to move along or do you abandon it and consider on an easier more pleasing path. And what would the consequences you will encounter be, if you made a decision one way or another?

The closer the souls are to one another, the greater the chances are of traveling within same circles. With smaller gaps in between, resulting in similar outcomes, which strengthens the bonds between us. For you see,  I believe that we are all connected through these circles and each individuals journey ultimately effects another in either a positive or negative way, and so on, for infinity and throughout eternity.

I know, this sounds a little "way out" and "new age-y", but I thought I should share with you, dear reader, how I view life in a metaphorical way in order to give you a bit of an insight to my mind's eye. You see, this blog, in itself, is a circle of mine in which I encourage you to join me, in order for you to complete your own circles in a more effective and loving manner. We can even hold hands along the way!