Friday, June 24, 2011

Swallowing a Big Pill.........

I found myself having to swallow a big pill today, one better known as pride. This was not an easy task for me. This particular pill has been sitting and staring at me for many years and today was the day that I was going to have open up and swallow. It was all inevitable. I've known for a few days that this was coming up today. I've been contemplating the many ways in which I was going to have to take this pill and in the end just closed my eyes and reluctantly went for it.

I thought this would be a good opportunity to share my thoughts on prideful emotions. I can, at times, be a bit stubborn and headstrong. I also tend to be very protective over my person in the sense that I do not take kindly to what I view as disrespect or being under appreciated. I know this about myself and therefore try to craft my surroundings as to not have to deal with these issues. The problem, for me, arises when I am not able to have control over them.

I share this with you so that if you, like me, have a bit of a stubborn streak, can find some kind of acceptance and peace while dealing with a hurt ego. Now, I would like to share with you what I have done in order to make myself feel better and move forward without resentment.

I first had to honestly evaluate the other individual involved and in doing do, came to the conclusion that I needed to separate their emotional capacity from mine. I cannot expect others to react in certain situations the same way that I would or in the way in which I thought they should or would, and that that's OK. Their responses and solutions sometimes have absolutely nothing to do with you but with their own predicament. I should, therefore, not take some things as an act of disrespect, but as an act of their own self preservation. In this way, I can separate my ego from the equation and be left with a bit of sympathy and understanding.

I can now move forward on this issue. I can now breath a little easier. I can now be a bit more forgiving. For all these things, I am grateful. Walk lighter and happier today with me!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Questioning Everything and Everyone....Go ahead, It's OK!

I've always had a bit of an issue with "authority", in every aspect of the word. No, I'm not disrespectful (quite the opposite) nor have I ever been. I easily find myself questioning those around me, in whatever capacity, as to what information I am being fed, at any given time, by whatever the source. I question things around me and search for answers that feel right. Answers that are logical, concise, and make clear sense to me.

It does not matter from who,what or even where I get the information I require. If it does not smell right, I will ask. I have no problem questioning anyone in any position or occupation. I do not care about the degrees held or the position appointed. These things do not intimidate me on any level.

I prefer to make choices that I feel are best suited for me and my family and, in order to do so open and honestly, I refuse to just take someone's word for things if it does not feel right. I have learned to not be manipulated into believing in things just because they are either written, spoken, or televised for that matter. I require all points of reference.

I know what it is like to put trust in others who should know better only to have find out (many many years later) that this trust was manipulated and, in turn, distorted my view. Coming full circle (I will discuss "circles" very soon), I see that my natural instinct to question has always been most true to me.

I share this view with you, dear reader, so that you will allow yourself to question those around you. To not believe in things (whatever they may be) just because you are told so. Just because you've read it some where, and so on. Anyone can write a book, preach a vision, or be a pundit on television.

I want you to be able to look at your world circumstances through a wider and more loving lens. To know that whatever it is that does not feel or seem right to you, it's more than acceptable to find the path that does suit you and the ones you love by questioning it. It's OK to question authority in all aspects. It OK to wonder why you've been doing certain things in your life that bring you no joy because you feel guilted into it by whatever force. It OK to ask "why".

You must allow yourself to inquire about all things in order to live a more peaceful and harmonious life. You know, in your heart and soul, what is right for you. You also know that you must always be true to yourself. As humans, the act of inquiry is most natural and necessary. Be true, be happy, and start asking yourself the most important questions.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Today's Gift 6/19/11: Papa's Meatballs

My parents are here on their yearly visit. They usually stay with us 3 weeks, give or take. During this particular, visit we've been fortunate enough to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary as well as Father's Day. Every time they come to see us my dad makes his obligatory 200 meatballs. Yes, that's right, it's a tradition.

Coincidentally, today being Father's Day, he is making his meatballs this afternoon aided by my daughter (his assistant). My mom and I will be making sure that all the items needed for this process be laid out and at the ready for him before he makes his way downstairs and begins his labor of love. My son will probably show up (from staying at a friends overnight) just in time to eat them. And the wafting smell will lure my husband up from the basement from whatever secret experiment he is currently conducting down there.

This labor of love is one of the most anticipated and appreciated gifts we receive from my dad, steeped in the Italian tradition of how food equates to love. You see, for us, by cooking for someone you are expressing your love and affection toward them. My dad loves to cook for us and he gets great joy from the looks on our faces as we savor every single bite of whatever creation he has put forth. Today, it is his meatballs!

This is a multi-sensory gift. The process itself of the collecting of ingredients and laying everything out, the conversations during the preparation and cooking, the savory aroma that fills the house for days, the unforgettable taste and texture, and the big smiles all around and the hugs and kisses of appreciation.

When they are all done, we will package the remainder up in plastic freezer bags for use at a later time. Long after our bellies have recovered from overfill. Long after the smell has dissipated. Long after he has gone back home. Each time we open a bag, the memories and the love come right out and sustains us till the next visit. The next meatball bonanza. The next warm hug and kiss. The next time we see dad.

Wishing all a warn and loving Father's Day. We love you Papa!