Thoughtful Thoughts.....Empower Yourself.............

They say that you teach others how to treat you, and therefore must take some responsibility for those who treat you badly.
I believe this to a most valid assumption.
You,dear reader,must choose to embrace the power which you posses.
If you look close enough, you will find that you do have choices and options.
I wish you the strength to make these decisions with the love for yourself that you need and deserve.
Have peace of mind in knowing the you will always have the most power over you than anyone else does.

For You....

Sometimes, you don't need to see the other side clearly to know, in your heart, it's where you should and need to be. It's most important to have faith in your decisions, which will give you peace of mind in moving toward those goals.

QUOTES......

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

~Maya Angelou

Self Respect; For You and Your Children

Pictured above is me at age 5, chubby and happy. Most of my childhood and adolescence was riddled with weight issues and having to be the "new chubby kid" in school, too many times to mention ,which leads to teasing and lots of belly aches (my parents liked to buy and sell houses). Through it all, my stability came from being from a very large and loving Italian family and a father who told me that I was "the most beautiful girl in the world" on a daily basis. My mother lead by example, showing me that being a strong and independent woman was something to be proud of and to strive for. I could have gone either way when it came to my self image.

 After all was said and done, I chose to believe my dad: that I was special and that I could be whoever I wanted because I was worthy. Being innately outgoing, becoming a strong and proud woman was probably inevitable, but through my mom, I knew I wanted to be like her. This was one of the greatest gifts my family could have given to me. After making some bad choices during my teenage years and in my early 20's, it was the basic instilled belief in myself that contributed to me becoming the self confident woman that I am.

The reason for my sharing this with you is to explain the basis of my belief of how important and vital it is to have a healthy sense of self respect and worth. When you respect yourself you do not allow others to mistreat you and you base all of your decisions with great confidence and in some cases, when appropriate, with tenacity.

When having children, I knew that the gift of a positive self image, would be one of the greatest assets that they would eventually leave home with, helping to guide them throughout their lives. I feel that it a most vital tool to posses in the pursuit of a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life. As a parent I would lead by example; for there are no "victims" in my household because when you play victim so do your children and this is never a good idea.

Basically speaking, I feel that the very first steps in building a positive self image for your children is to start out with them when they are very young. Teaching them the concept of respect for others through discipline, limits, and routine. All of these being taught with great love and empathy. Doing so will make them feel safe and secure. They will know what to expect and when to expect it. This will, in turn, give them the tools needed to want to please themselves after they have worked so hard to please you. Moving forward, they will be used to the idea that what makes them feel good also makes others feel the same way. The rest, with more guidance, will build upon itself  to produce an adult with self love, respect, and the confidence to be an example to others.

Even if you are not the most confident and secure individual, by teaching these lessons to your children, you will in turn be reinforcing these beliefs in yourself and grow along with them. It's a beautiful thing.

"Organization is the key to success".......

These are the words that I have uttered to both my children since the day they were born. Why, do you ask? Being organized is much bigger than having a color coded closet or a neatly folded linens. It is what frees you to have a clear mind and time to enjoy your surroundings.

When your home, car, office, etc. are full of clutter, so is your head. You cannot see clearly and you find that there is much time wasted over finding things, which goes for thoughts as well as objects. I feel that it is most important to try and understand the motivation behind the reason for all the clutter. Anyone can get their pantry in order if the effort is put forth, but finding out why it is a total disaster in the first place will keep you from not having that pantry look the same way before you started within a week's time. For some, their clutter is quite evident. It's all around them. For others, it's hidden like a dark secret.

Constantly allowing things to get out of hand will lead you to a point in which the task of de-cluttering will seem like a monumental process and therefore unachievable. You do not know where to begin, so why even start? You must learn to take control of your surroundings in order to take control of your life. Once you have made the commitment to make these changes with a positive attitude, you'd be amazed at how liberated you will feel. You will feel as though you have beaten a demon and that you are worth all efforts put forth on your behalf.

Getting started is always the hardest step to take no matter what the circumstance. I find it helps to use this time to honestly evaluate your situation. For example: how,why, and when did things get out of control? The reason could be as simple as, "I started a new job with a longer commute or hours"; "Someone got ill that I had to care for or I've been distracted by family issues"; or, it could be as complicated as, "This is how I grew up and being surrounded by clutter is comforting to me or I feel that I have no control over my life"; "I can't make a decision"; "I can't ask for help because I may get rejected, or even worse, no one cares enough".

Once you have figured this out (which may take some time and deep self analysis on your part) then you are ready to make the changes necessary. Remember, "baby steps". Do not overwhelm yourself only to set yourself up for failure. By doing so, you will never accomplish anything. After the first step is made and you start to pull things together, you will notice a great sense of self accomplishment. Your surroundings will bring you to a healthy sense of comfort and a more peaceful place as opposed to a chaotic and dysfunctional one. You will see things more clearly. make decisions faster and more effectively, and be more confident.

After living in an organized home, you will find that your mind will become used to this way of living. You will also find that the longer you keep it up the easier it will be to have everything "kept up". No tasks will seem too enormous to handle. You will also realize that your time is invaluable and that you like having the extra time (that was simply used up trying to find things and thoughts) and become more proprietary with it. You will also be able to become more focused which is very important. All of this will then eventually lead to having no time for "clusters" brought on by stuff or people; the latter of which I hope to discuss at a later time.

Empowering one's self comes in many forms. Each thing we do and how we approach it leaves those around us with an impression; why not be a positive one? Being organized is so much more than having a place for everything, it's a state of mind.