Swallowing a Big Pill.........

I found myself having to swallow a big pill today, one better known as pride. This was not an easy task for me. This particular pill has been sitting and staring at me for many years and today was the day that I was going to have open up and swallow. It was all inevitable. I've known for a few days that this was coming up today. I've been contemplating the many ways in which I was going to have to take this pill and in the end just closed my eyes and reluctantly went for it.

I thought this would be a good opportunity to share my thoughts on prideful emotions. I can, at times, be a bit stubborn and headstrong. I also tend to be very protective over my person in the sense that I do not take kindly to what I view as disrespect or being under appreciated. I know this about myself and therefore try to craft my surroundings as to not have to deal with these issues. The problem, for me, arises when I am not able to have control over them.

I share this with you so that if you, like me, have a bit of a stubborn streak, can find some kind of acceptance and peace while dealing with a hurt ego. Now, I would like to share with you what I have done in order to make myself feel better and move forward without resentment.

I first had to honestly evaluate the other individual involved and in doing do, came to the conclusion that I needed to separate their emotional capacity from mine. I cannot expect others to react in certain situations the same way that I would or in the way in which I thought they should or would, and that that's OK. Their responses and solutions sometimes have absolutely nothing to do with you but with their own predicament. I should, therefore, not take some things as an act of disrespect, but as an act of their own self preservation. In this way, I can separate my ego from the equation and be left with a bit of sympathy and understanding.

I can now move forward on this issue. I can now breath a little easier. I can now be a bit more forgiving. For all these things, I am grateful. Walk lighter and happier today with me!

Questioning Everything and Everyone....Go ahead, It's OK!

I've always had a bit of an issue with "authority", in every aspect of the word. No, I'm not disrespectful (quite the opposite) nor have I ever been. I easily find myself questioning those around me, in whatever capacity, as to what information I am being fed, at any given time, by whatever the source. I question things around me and search for answers that feel right. Answers that are logical, concise, and make clear sense to me.

It does not matter from who,what or even where I get the information I require. If it does not smell right, I will ask. I have no problem questioning anyone in any position or occupation. I do not care about the degrees held or the position appointed. These things do not intimidate me on any level.

I prefer to make choices that I feel are best suited for me and my family and, in order to do so open and honestly, I refuse to just take someone's word for things if it does not feel right. I have learned to not be manipulated into believing in things just because they are either written, spoken, or televised for that matter. I require all points of reference.

I know what it is like to put trust in others who should know better only to have find out (many many years later) that this trust was manipulated and, in turn, distorted my view. Coming full circle (I will discuss "circles" very soon), I see that my natural instinct to question has always been most true to me.

I share this view with you, dear reader, so that you will allow yourself to question those around you. To not believe in things (whatever they may be) just because you are told so. Just because you've read it some where, and so on. Anyone can write a book, preach a vision, or be a pundit on television.

I want you to be able to look at your world circumstances through a wider and more loving lens. To know that whatever it is that does not feel or seem right to you, it's more than acceptable to find the path that does suit you and the ones you love by questioning it. It's OK to question authority in all aspects. It OK to wonder why you've been doing certain things in your life that bring you no joy because you feel guilted into it by whatever force. It OK to ask "why".


You must allow yourself to inquire about all things in order to live a more peaceful and harmonious life. You know, in your heart and soul, what is right for you. You also know that you must always be true to yourself. As humans, the act of inquiry is most natural and necessary. Be true, be happy, and start asking yourself the most important questions.

Today's Gift 6/19/11: Papa's Meatballs

My parents are here on their yearly visit. They usually stay with us 3 weeks, give or take. During this particular, visit we've been fortunate enough to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary as well as Father's Day. Every time they come to see us my dad makes his obligatory 200 meatballs. Yes, that's right, it's a tradition.

Coincidentally, today being Father's Day, he is making his meatballs this afternoon aided by my daughter (his assistant). My mom and I will be making sure that all the items needed for this process be laid out and at the ready for him before he makes his way downstairs and begins his labor of love. My son will probably show up (from staying at a friends overnight) just in time to eat them. And the wafting smell will lure my husband up from the basement from whatever secret experiment he is currently conducting down there.

This labor of love is one of the most anticipated and appreciated gifts we receive from my dad, steeped in the Italian tradition of how food equates to love. You see, for us, by cooking for someone you are expressing your love and affection toward them. My dad loves to cook for us and he gets great joy from the looks on our faces as we savor every single bite of whatever creation he has put forth. Today, it is his meatballs!

This is a multi-sensory gift. The process itself of the collecting of ingredients and laying everything out, the conversations during the preparation and cooking, the savory aroma that fills the house for days, the unforgettable taste and texture, and the big smiles all around and the hugs and kisses of appreciation.

When they are all done, we will package the remainder up in plastic freezer bags for use at a later time. Long after our bellies have recovered from overfill. Long after the smell has dissipated. Long after he has gone back home. Each time we open a bag, the memories and the love come right out and sustains us till the next visit. The next meatball bonanza. The next warm hug and kiss. The next time we see dad.

Wishing all a warn and loving Father's Day. We love you Papa!

Saying "I'm sorry" is just the beginning of our commitment to behave......

"I'm sorry". We've all said it. We've all heard it. We've all meant it (or at least we thought we did). This simple phrase has always meant a great deal to me. Maybe it's because I have never had a problem saying it and then following through on this sincere statement. Or maybe it's because when I hear these words spoken to me I expect the very same sincerity in return and when this does not happen, I find myself disappointed and a little less respectful of the offender.

There are many motivators behind this phrase. Some are quite honest in sincere, while others are based in their own egotistical self preservation. In other words, the only thing they are sorry for is being caught behaving badly and not wanting to suffer any of the consequences.

To be truly sorry means that whatever it is that you are sorry for, after you apologize you are making a commitment to not do whatever it was that you were sorry for in the first place ever again. That's how strongly I feel about this admonition.

I do not want to just hear these words, I want to see action and follow through with this statement every time. You should mean what you say and say what you mean at all times possible, and expect the same respect back.  Do not let others mislead you with these words that you've wanted and deserved to hear, only to have the offender repeat their bad behavior over and over again. In this, these words have absolutely no meaning and you are, at some point, now responsible for allowing this cycle to continue and the pain that ensues because of it.

When my children were very young, teaching them how to properly apologize was of the utmost importance to me (among many other things). After their obligitory "I'm sorry" was spoken, I had them explain, out loud, to what they were sorry for and to promise not to do whatever that was again. Yes, it took quite a while for it all to stick, and I knew it would be a process; but I knew that it would eventually turn into sincerity. I knew that it would make them a bit more empathetic and trustworthy.

In closing, I would just like to reiterate the magnitude of this phrase, "I'm sorry". I would like you, dear reader, to be a bit more mindful when using it yourself and to not accept anything less from those around you who speaks these words to you. Be blessed and be kind.

"Never in a Million Years"........

Who has not said these words: "Never in a million years" (or something to that effect), only to find themselves a few years later in that very position they had denied previously? Life has a funny way of putting us directly in the path the unexpected/unforeseen in the most inconspicuous way and before we know it, we're there looking back and scratching our heads as to how did this all happen.

Some of these declarations come from fear, others from denial or ignorance, and the most unfortunate ones come from sever judgement of others' circumstances. On the other hand, there are the ones that come from a place of great hope and chance which should serve as a constant reminder that good things can come around, even at the most difficult times.

I can look back in 5, 10, or even as little as 3 year intervals in my life, so far, and site a multitude of examples. I am quite sure that you, dear reader, upon reflection, can do the same. Life's changes, twist's, turn's, and sometimes even detours, can take you to places in which you have either previously denied or never even dreamed of, both good and bad. There could be places you've never thought of living in or visiting, jobs you could not of imagined doing, or people you would have never thought would be such an important part of your life.

In mentioning the positive we must not forget the negative: the illness that comes from seemingly nowhere, the sudden death of a loved one, the loss of your job, home, and/or savings. Your assumptions about your future can be undermined at any moment. Taking a left turn when you were supposed to head right, or visa versa. None of us are immune to any of these adversities, nor are we unworthy of the blessing that come our way.


Please be advised, dear reader, that you had better be very careful to judge the ones, in the current unfortunate circumstances they have found themselves in, and say "never in a million years" to yourself. Because life has an interesting way of playing a good game of irony with those who shake their fingers in the faces of the unfortunate. A quick example: A mother of a daughter (at any age) should never ever judge another mother's daughter who has become pregnant at a young age. Shame on those who do, because you never know, no matter how good of a parent you may think you may be, what will become of your own daughter. If anything, that mother and child need your love and support, not your "I told you so's".

Enough with the negative; my main intention in writing this post is to show you how to show yourself the power of hope in the face of great challenge and to be able to look ahead by looking back in order to know that you don't know what may lie ahead, and that life can be a series of unexpected surprises and journeys..

I will leave you with this: "Never in a million years" did I ever think that I would be a blogger in any way, shape, or form. I had had preconceived notions about the blogging world and therefore denied it. Well, I guess I was wrong, and here I am with you. Many blessings and happy trails forward for the next million years!