Tuesday, July 12, 2011

"Liar Liar,pants on fire!"...or maybe not

Let's be honest: we have all lied at one time or another for one a number of reasons. Lying is a natural impulse. Whether it be an innocent act in order to spare someone's feelings,  to hide the truth about yourself, to hide shame, or even for the evil and unsavory purpose of manipulating others, these motivational differences are what I'd like to discuss with you today.

First, let me just share with you, dear reader, that I tend a bit to be on the "too honest" side. I find that I have to hold myself back, on many occasions, in order to not hurt the feelings of others.When someone asks my opinion, I feel compelled to be very truthful in how I feel about the subject. In being this way, I therefore expect the same honest responses from others.

There are times when I'd rather not know the truth and will avoid the conversation all together, knowing that the truth may leave me feeling badly. If I am feeling badly with the truth then I feel compelled to fix it and sometimes the methods are not pretty. I also take great offense to those I find are blatantly lying to me. I feel as though it is a complete insult to my intelligence, as should you. For the liar believes you to be naive enough to believe them.

White lies, as we refer to them, happen frequently. We all go around committing this act without a second thought. Some times, we may even feel that we are doing the recipient a favor by not being truthful. These are usually as incidental as telling your friend that they look nice in that dress or wishing someone you really do not care for a nice day.

And then, there are the lies we tell disguised as excuses. Excuses are told as to not suffer the consequences of your offense. For example: your explanation as to why you were late, why you forgot someone's birthday, or why you did not eat that last piece of cake, just to name a few. These excuses act as an innate protection mechanism shielding us from public as well as private shame. You see, we are not immune to giving the same excuses to ourselves in order to feel good about things. All the same, excuses are just that: excuses. There is no resolution in them. They do nothing but hold you back in your forward journey.

During your life's journey, you will find yourself involved with those who you cannot trust. You cannot trust these individual because you know quite well that whatever comes out of their mouth is going to be a lie, no matter what it is. They, for some reason, will not surround themselves with truth. They are most comfortable living their entire lives wrapped in one big lie after another. Therefore, their sense of reality is warped. You should, in turn, have not time for them.

One of the most difficult and negative emotional wounds suffered because of lying happens when you come to the realization that you have been mislead, in a big way, by someone of great closeness. This, dear reader, presents itself to you as betrayal. You may feel as though you've been a fool. You may also experience self doubt about how you read others. You may not be able to trust this person again. Depending on the depth of the betrayal, and the character of the offending individual, you may choose to either forgive them or move on forward without them. Every situation has it's own complexities and they all must be acknowledged in order to come to a satisfactory and peaceful conclusion.

In conclusion, I would like to wish for all of you clearer vision/insight in order to detect the liars around you and the ability/strength to not let yourself get sucked into their cluster. No one can be immune to all their tactics but if you view the world with a more discerning perspective, this would be helpful. And to those of you who find yourselves with no other choice but to constantly lie, please look within and figure out your motivators for doing so. You must accomplish deep personal change in order to travel this earth in a more honest, loving, and peaceful way.

One last note: I would be remiss if I did not mention half-truths. For half-truths in themselves are missing the other half which in essence are lies. Be wary my dear readers, for these can be very subliminal in nature, but still as full on harmful as if a blatant lie has been told.

I close this post honestly, with much love and affection for all..... Peace!