Being Mindful of Your Words......

Please always be mindful of what you say and who you say it to.
Know that your words hold great power, and with that power comes great responsibility.
Your words can have a fantastic impression, either positive or negative on their recipient/s.
What may seem to be a trivial comment to you, could have a long lasting (sometimes a lifetime) affect on someone else.

I find it very interesting as to what we remember being said to us throughout our lives.

The things that seem to stick with us.
The statements that have helped form our opinions of ourselves (good and bad).
The negative comments shouted to us as children that still hurt, to this very day.
The gravity in which we still hold and held, to the words of acceptance and approval from our elders/mentors.

Or the silence, in which we keep seeking this approval.
This silence has the power to speak louder than any words ever spoken.

Be kind.
Be mindful.
Be love.

Mothers and Daughters, Daughters and Mothers.......

(me and my daughter)

To tell you the truth, I was not as close to my mom growing up as I would have liked. It wasn't util I left the house (at 18) that we became close. So close, in fact, that I just about worship her and all that she is to me. She is my heart, my home, my very best friend; and I'd be lost without her love in my life.

The moment I gave birth to my very own daughter, I knew that I did not want the same childhood relationship between mother and daughter that I had had. I vowed to make it better and right with her. In this process, she and I would become stronger, happier, and extremely bonded. It seemed as though, instinctually, I just knew what not to do as well as what to do. I have always been quite empathetic when raising my children, so putting myself back into my daughter's little shoes (and bigger ones as she's grown), I was able to relive, reconcile, and nurture her in the way in which I felt a mother's loving guidance should be. I am happy to say that she and I have a beautiful relationship, and I look forward to what the future brings between the two of us.

I share these words with you, dear reader, because of the many women that I see who suffer from resentful and dysfunction emotions associated with their relationships with either their mothers, daughters, or sometimes even both.

You see, the mother-daughter journey is a very complicated and intense life experience. So much so, that there have been numerous books and talk show "chats" about this very subject. My intention in today's post is to put things in simpler and more hopeful terms.

I'd like to convey to you, dear reader, some points in the following numbered statements:

1. No one's relationship with another is perfect. They are all flawed in one way or another. This is how it is and should be (we are here to learn). Do not feel as though you have to achieve perfection on this level.

2. Everyone has an innate desire for parental approval even though they may not admit it.

3. Women emulate their mother's behavior, good and bad. It is for you to choose the better and deal with the bad by separating yourself from it.

4. If your mother comes from a childhood full of chaos and/or disapproval, she may not have ever had the emotional capacity needed to raise you with the love, affection, and acceptance that you required. Also,she may never admit to or validate your feelings toward her. This has nothing to do with your worthiness.

5. We are all entitled to love and cannot thrive without it.

6. With your own daughter, never ever over compensate for your own mother's shortcomings. This will not bring you closer. It will only perpetuate your ill feelings toward your mom and in turn, breed new ones within your own daughter.

7. If you have the opportunity to confront your mother and she is willing to mend your relationship and move forward, then you are blessed. On the other hand, if your mother is no longer with you or she is not open to having a conversation, then you must move on in the acceptance of this fact. You will not be able to change the damage that has already been done. You can only look to the future by letting go.

8. You do have the power to choose a better and brighter life for yourself and your own daughter.

9. You do have the power to move forward with love for yourself and be a positive influence to your daughter.

10. You do have the power to not allow anyone to be neglectful and indifferent toward you, especially your mother.

11. A good relationship between mother and daughter is not a given for anyone. It is a blessing to be appreciated and cherished.

12.  You are the link between what your mother was to what your daughter will become.

Remember, it was your mother's responsibility to raise you, not the other way around. If there is still hope in your relationship, you may be able to help guide her and yourself to a more respectful and loving relationship. Within honestly and openness, you may be able to mend the broken fences and, in turn, breath new life into your outlook. Also, you may then have peace of mind when it comes to your relationships with all the other women in your life.

Be a good mother. Be a good daughter. Be blessed, for you are what love is.......

Go Ahead, Turn that Frown Upside Down and SMILE!!!

I'm quite sure I was born with a smile on my face. I am innately a smiler and hugger. It does not matter if I know you or not, smiles (and hugs) are given often and freely by me, and I am grateful to be this way; for a smile given to another is a wonderful gift. It always has a positive impact on the recipient. When you smile you look prettier (or more handsome), for your face glows and light shines through your eyes. Facial recognition shows acceptance and approval to others. It makes you feel good on the inside while sharing your kindness outwardly.

Smiles cost nothing. They are easy to make, they help you to feel better when you are sad, depressed, or angry. And, when given freely, they a have payback of tenfold.

Being an avid smiler, at the same time, I also realize that this form of expression can be very difficult for some. Whether they are going through a very difficult period or just have a hard time showing their feelings. The latter, may view smiling as a weakness or vulnerability. I am here to tell you that it is not. It is both beautiful and fulfilling!

So please smile wide and often. And if no one has smiled upon you today, be my guest and take this post as my big smile to you, because you matter and deserve it! Oh yeah, and here's a quick hug. Now, go out and share!