"Paraprosdokians", Now say THAT 10 Times Fast!!

Paraprosdokians  "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a
 sentence or
phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous
 situation"
 (i.e. "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian).

So here's the dealio. I thought I'd lighten things up today with the bit of humor so many of us are in need of. If I make you smile, then I will have accomplished my daily goal. If I make you laugh, well then, I will have exceeded my goal. If you do neither, then you could say that I will have failed at this, or I could look at it from another angle and just insist that you have not done well with getting your Happy on. But I do not think that the latter will happen. I have faith in your Happy Skills today, dear reader!

The following is a list of paraprosdokians for you to enjoy:

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and
beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright
until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train
stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.

14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

15. I asked God for a new car, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I
stole a car, and asked for forgiveness.

16. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to
skydive twice.

17. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.

18. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.

19. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

20. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

21. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
you hit, a target.

22. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

24. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a
garage makes you a car.

25. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you look forward to the trip.

26. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish
they were.

27. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon,
and a shot of tequila.

28. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water .

HAPPY HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS !!

After much deliberation, my kids decided on carving our pumpkin  into a Pac Man theme. I told them not to get too upset if it did not turn out the way in which they intended. Reason being, they had no template and were a little sketchy on the ultimate design. They both dismissed my words of caution and went for it with great intent. The result, a surprisingly great job!

(pictured below, photo skills lacking)

Since they were so successful, I thought I'd share these crazy good carvings with you, dear readers, as to maybe inspire your creative pumpkin carving side (if you are so inclined)!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN CARVING!!!

Colors.....

Choose Bright.

Choose Happy.

Choose Vibrant.

Choose Multi.

Choose Complimenting.

Choose Bold.

COLORS!!

Thoughtful Thoughts.......

Go ahead. Just "blow"your thoughts out into the universe. Ask for what you want. What you need. Whatever you desire. By doing this, you allow yourself to be open for all the good to come into your life. You, in a sense,give permission to the universe that it's OK for you to be happy,healthy,wealthy, and wise (as they say). You'd be surprised, as to what comes back to you when you ask. Now take that deep breath you've been holding on to inside and let/blow it all out. You'll feel so much better when you do.

I only wish the best for you, dear reader.

Saying "I Love You" often and honestly.......

The three most powerful words ever spoken from one to another: "I Love You". When spoken with an honest and open heart, this phrase carries the most weight when voicing our true feelings of closeness. On the other hand, these same words, when spoken with a cold and calculating heart, can be the most manipulative and selfish words uttered to another.

I make it a point to tell the ones I care for deeply that I love them often. Whether it be in person, on the phone, via e-mail, text or by any other means of communication. When I speak or write these words, I mean them every time. I hold great reverence for this phrase and would never use it for any reason other than the purpose than it implies.

Unfortunately, I cannot say this for everyone. I cannot hold true that whoever says this phrase honestly means it. I have seen and heard this phrase being misused and abused by many. I have come to learn that these insincere individuals take advantage of others by using these words to manipulate and hold power. You see, dear reader, "I love you" holds much power because of its monumental meaning.

I would like you to take a bit more time to show your love and to speak it out loud as often as necessary with grace. You may find by doing this that the recipients will be more receptive to your true feelings than you might have otherwise thought. People do need to hear these words from their loved ones. It's a positive affirmation as well as a call to comfort and acceptance. We all need to be loved, and to know that we are loved is of utmost importance. Please also be mindful of those around you who are not sincere in expressing their love for you. Look to see beyond these words for what ulterior motive may be behind it. Do not allow yourself to succumb to another's lies and deceit in order to fulfill a need. It will only end in a most hurtful and painful way.

My hope for you, dear reader, is to have a life filled with love and laughter. To be happy and secure within yourself so that you can share your love with one another in a most pure and beautiful way. With only sincere intentions, and an open heart.

Perfectly Imperfect the Key to Character and a Self Assured Outlook ....

Pictured below is an antique piano given to us by very dear friends. As you can see, on the exterior, the original casters are missing. What you can't see, on the interior, is the inner workings that will not allow for it to stay in tune any longer. What you hear is a mostly off key instrument with a few good notes in between. I find great beauty and joy in this piece, in all of it's imperfections, and for the character it holds within. I thought that this would serve as an appropriate metaphor for this post. Even the lamp that sits on top (pictured below) is missing some of its original crystals which I have attempted to replace over time.

Ok, I'll be the first to admit it, I can be bit of a perfectionist. It's just part of my genetic makeup. I work hard on curbing my critical nature, but at the same time, I feel fortunate to be this way because it helps me to stay focused. I am most critical when it comes to myself, in all aspects of my being, from the superficial to the supremely important things; yet when it comes to the world around me, I find the most beauty in its imperfections.

First let me express my thoughts on perfection. I truly believe that the whole concept of perfection is an unachievable myth. Those who try to achieve perfection never really get there because there will inevitably be an even higher accomplishment or standard set right in front of them, which makes it a constant and almost infinite plight. Perfection is also quite subjective. What I deem as perfect, you may not, and visa versa. Also, if someone presents themselves to others as being perfect then, well, there are just too many internal issues within their being for me to consider delving into on this post. We can visit that type of person at another time. Let's just say, for now, that they are not.

The dents, dings, and lopsidedness of it all is what really gives me great joy! This goes for all living things as well as objects. For example, the used chest that has the veneer peeling off a bit is more appealing to me with it's old patina than a brand new one. The old house, even though it needs a lot of work, gives me goosebumps as opposed  to the ones in the newest development. The quirky old friend that I just cannot figure out and older women that carry themselves with class and grace are way more pleasing to me than the opposites of the aforementioned. All theses examples have one common thread running throughout: character.

 You see, perfection really does not rate high on the character scale with me. I believe that in imperfection, you find the real beauty within yourself and the world around you. The seasoned individual, the well developed soul, the wisdom accumulated through a lifetime of trial and error, and the untuneable old piano.

I would like you to be able to find the peaceful truth of this overshadowed beauty within you and to reach out into your surroundings while embracing its imperfection of character. To be comfortable with your body, home, and the ones you love. Not to be expecting this unattainable myth of yourself, or anyone you know, because moving forward you'll find that this is an unreasonable request and will ultimately leave you damaged, disappointed, and unassured. Also, do not ever let anyone put these expectations of their perception of perfection onto you. You cannot and should not live up to those unreasonable standards because you are already perfectly imperfect. Be blessed, be happy, and be you !!

Go Ahead, Turn that Frown Upside Down and SMILE!!!

I'm quite sure I was born with a smile on my face. I am innately a smiler and hugger. It does not matter if I know you or not, smiles (and hugs) are given often and freely by me, and I am grateful to be this way; for a smile given to another is a wonderful gift. It always has a positive impact on the recipient. When you smile you look prettier (or more handsome), for your face glows and light shines through your eyes. Facial recognition shows acceptance and approval to others. It makes you feel good on the inside while sharing your kindness outwardly.

Smiles cost nothing. They are easy to make, they help you to feel better when you are sad, depressed, or angry. And, when given freely, they a have payback of tenfold.

Being an avid smiler, at the same time, I also realize that this form of expression can be very difficult for some. Whether they are going through a very difficult period or just have a hard time showing their feelings. The latter, may view smiling as a weakness or vulnerability. I am here to tell you that it is not. It is both beautiful and fulfilling!

So please smile wide and often. And if no one has smiled upon you today, be my guest and take this post as my big smile to you, because you matter and deserve it! Oh yeah, and here's a quick hug. Now, go out and share!

A Good Night's Sleep.....

Today, I eagerly put fresh sheets on our bed; bright, white, soft, fluffy, and luxurious. I liberally spritzed a heavenly scent (Inner Grace by Philosophy) in between each layer and all over every pillow. Finally, I placed Mr. Black Bear on top to guard my precious domain.

This whole bed making ritual inspired me to write about the importance of sleep and how I treasure it. Anyone who knows me personally, knows how passionate I am about getting a good night's rest. I feel that it an essential part of your daily life , more so even than food. You can live longer without eating than you can without sleep. Your body must sleep. It must be able to regenerate itself. It must be given the time in order to balance out your metabolism and to heal. Your brain needs sleep in order to processes your daily thoughts, good and bad. Your brain also needs this sleep for you to be able to think clearly and focus. Doing so will give you more energy and stamina. Also, the better rested you are, the less you crave carbohydrates!

(I LOVE MY BED)

Knowing and experiencing these benefits, I try to make sure I get at least 7 hours of good sleep every night, no matter what. This has become a bit more difficult for me since I have hit that time in my life where I experience some insomnia and those dreaded "personal summers" in the middle of the night. I find that if I do not get my required sleep, I'm "off" for the rest of the day. My food choices are not the most healthy and that I am cranky and tired. I'm not at my best and then feel cheated out of a good day. This may sound a bit strange but after you have committed to getting a restful sleep for years, your body not only requires it but it desires it. Your bed should be a peaceful refuge.

( Mr. Bear was a gift given to me a very long time ago by my dearest friend in the world. Like her, he has been there for me through decades, thick and thin. He is a constant reminder to me of the deep love and affection mutually shared between me a my soul sister girlfriend.) 

So why not do yourself and those around a favor by committing to a good night's sleep Every Night! ( I know this is an unattainable goal when you have babies but be hopeful, cause your time will soon come) Mine and Mr. Black Bear's wish for you is a healthy and happy rest each and every night. You deserve it!

Self Respect; For You and Your Children

Pictured above is me at age 5, chubby and happy. Most of my childhood and adolescence was riddled with weight issues and having to be the "new chubby kid" in school, too many times to mention ,which leads to teasing and lots of belly aches (my parents liked to buy and sell houses). Through it all, my stability came from being from a very large and loving Italian family and a father who told me that I was "the most beautiful girl in the world" on a daily basis. My mother lead by example, showing me that being a strong and independent woman was something to be proud of and to strive for. I could have gone either way when it came to my self image.

 After all was said and done, I chose to believe my dad: that I was special and that I could be whoever I wanted because I was worthy. Being innately outgoing, becoming a strong and proud woman was probably inevitable, but through my mom, I knew I wanted to be like her. This was one of the greatest gifts my family could have given to me. After making some bad choices during my teenage years and in my early 20's, it was the basic instilled belief in myself that contributed to me becoming the self confident woman that I am.

The reason for my sharing this with you is to explain the basis of my belief of how important and vital it is to have a healthy sense of self respect and worth. When you respect yourself you do not allow others to mistreat you and you base all of your decisions with great confidence and in some cases, when appropriate, with tenacity.

When having children, I knew that the gift of a positive self image, would be one of the greatest assets that they would eventually leave home with, helping to guide them throughout their lives. I feel that it a most vital tool to posses in the pursuit of a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life. As a parent I would lead by example; for there are no "victims" in my household because when you play victim so do your children and this is never a good idea.

Basically speaking, I feel that the very first steps in building a positive self image for your children is to start out with them when they are very young. Teaching them the concept of respect for others through discipline, limits, and routine. All of these being taught with great love and empathy. Doing so will make them feel safe and secure. They will know what to expect and when to expect it. This will, in turn, give them the tools needed to want to please themselves after they have worked so hard to please you. Moving forward, they will be used to the idea that what makes them feel good also makes others feel the same way. The rest, with more guidance, will build upon itself  to produce an adult with self love, respect, and the confidence to be an example to others.

Even if you are not the most confident and secure individual, by teaching these lessons to your children, you will in turn be reinforcing these beliefs in yourself and grow along with them. It's a beautiful thing.