Paraprosdokians "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a
sentence or
phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous
situation"
(i.e. "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian).
So here's the dealio. I thought I'd lighten things up today with the bit of humor so many of us are in need of. If I make you smile, then I will have accomplished my daily goal. If I make you laugh, well then, I will have exceeded my goal. If you do neither, then you could say that I will have failed at this, or I could look at it from another angle and just insist that you have not done well with getting your Happy on. But I do not think that the latter will happen. I have faith in your Happy Skills today, dear reader!
The following is a list of paraprosdokians for you to enjoy:
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and
beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright
until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train
stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
15. I asked God for a new car, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I
stole a car, and asked for forgiveness.
16. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to
skydive twice.
17. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.
18. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.
19. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
20. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
21. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
you hit, a target.
22. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a
garage makes you a car.
25. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you look forward to the trip.
26. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish
they were.
27. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon,
and a shot of tequila.
28. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water .
I have written before on the subject of Beauty. So when I happened upon this quote, I couldn't help but share it with you. It's short enough, to the point, and speaks volumes.
There are too many individuals who are misled into believing the lie/illusion of beauty. They, themselves, are therefore left feeling inadequate and undeserving of acceptance, and in even worse cases, love.
This self defecating attitude must end. These "ad wizards" and "image makers" should be held accountable for their unrealistic public portrayals of beauty. Unfortunately, society is brainwashed in this myth and all too compliant with these portrayals.
Maybe I'm a bit passionate about this subject because I see beauty in all things.
Maybe it's because I know that perfection is an illusion.
Maybe it because of all the pain and heartache that comes with trying to live up to others' expectations in regards to their appearance. Which, in some cases can be a precursor to self abusive behavior.
I believe that the key to success in changing any negative perceptions about others lies in education and positive role models and mentors. We must learn to not live in ignorance but to thrive in the acceptance of all.
I would like to share with you, dear reader, a little photo journal of things that speak "serenity" to me. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Go ahead (if you are so inclined) and take the meditational suggestions given under each, in order to clear your head/mind of all that is bothersome.
Even if it is for just a moment.
Breath Deep.......
Clear your mind of all negative thoughts....
Think of only the good in your life.....
Smile and be grateful....
Know how lucky you really are......
Enjoy these moments in which you are able to reflect in peace....
Know that you are loved.....
Imaging yourself in the "place" you'd like to be.....
Let yourself linger there for as long as you like.....
Breath deep.....
Know that you are not alone....
Know that you are a gift.....
Know that you have purpose....
Now revel in these peacefully positive thoughts....
POST NOTE:
After drafting up this post last night for publishing today, I serendipitously came across the photo below. It just so happens to explain in clearer and more precise terms a more defining and meaningful approach to meditation.
I was so excited when I found this and thought that you, dear reader, may appreciate being more enlighten on this subject as I have. I guess this post was meant to be. I just love when this kinda thing happens!
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="268" caption="Weeping Willows are one of my very favorite trees."][/caption]
"If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we both have branches on the same tree" ~~William Butler Yeats~
I guess I'll be cleaning the furnace filter and turning it on now!
It's Time :)
This is what I woke up to, this morning. A fire (made by my husband) in the family room fireplace. Why is this so unusual? Because it's October in Virginia and we have snow. It's also a bit chilly out and I have an issue, twice a year, when it comes to turning on the heat and turning on the air conditioning.
Let me explain.
There are a few reasons why I dread doing both. Let me just start with that fact that before each "turn on", I have enjoyed a lower than usual electric bill for a month or two prior (our whole house is electric) without the heat pump running.
Secondly, I have this "thing" with turning on the heat before November 1st and the air conditioning before June 1st. I'm not quite sure what it is. Maybe, I have a weird psychological issue with the month justifying the change in temperature and therefore justifying the turning on of the heat pump.
Third, and most importantly, our system is just as old as our house. Our house was built-in 1974. We have owned it for about 11 years. We bought it from the original owner who was quite proud of the fact that he replaced nothing in the house, ever! Therefore, we are the only ones in the neighborhood who still have the original heat pump system (the others have replaced theirs at least twice now)
We would have replaced it if it had broken down, but it hasn't yet. It works great and everyone else in the neighborhood who has upgraded has had issues with their systems. So why invest $6,000 to $8,000 of funds we do not have if we don't have to? With that being said, whenever I turn the system on, I have a bit of an anxiety attack beforehand because I'm afraid that it will not work. We can only hope for so long that it lasts, and so far, we've been lucky.
And so, the modus operandi for turning the heat/ac on is this: I announce to the entire family that I am going to turn it on. I hold my breath. I close my eyes. I open my eyes. I turn the switch to on, (mind you I'm still holding my breath at this point) and wait, and wait a bit more, till I see, hear, and feel the air being pushed out of the vents. When the mission is accomplished successfully, I say a prayer of gratitude and keep my hope up that it will last through the season.
Well, it's about that time, dear reader, that I have to do the "dirty deed", as I refer to it. I will be holding out till November, which is right around the corner. And when all is said and one, and it turns on without a hitch, I will then have Peace Of Mind.
WISH ME LUCK!
After much deliberation, my kids decided on carving our pumpkin into a Pac Man theme. I told them not to get too upset if it did not turn out the way in which they intended. Reason being, they had no template and were a little sketchy on the ultimate design. They both dismissed my words of caution and went for it with great intent. The result, a surprisingly great job!
(pictured below, photo skills lacking)
Since they were so successful, I thought I'd share these crazy good carvings with you, dear readers, as to maybe inspire your creative pumpkin carving side (if you are so inclined)!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN CARVING!!!
BELIEVE you can accomplish any task.
BELIEVE you have purpose.
BELIEVE in the unbelievable.
BELIEVE in yourself.
IMAGINE a better world.
IMAGINE a brighter future.
IMAGINE yourself in harmony with your surroundings.
IMAGINE yourself with Peace of Mind.
DREAM in colors every night.
DREAM of a better tomorrow.
DREAM of being who you aspire to be.
DREAM your wildest Dreams even when others try to sway you not to.
LOVE your life.
LOVE your family.
LOVE each other.
LOVE yourself.
I must admit, from to time, I tend to worry a bit too much about things (and that's putting it lightly). It's in my genes. I come from a long line of worriers. You name it, and I have worried about it. Following are just a FEW (and I stress "Few") examples:
On a Personal Level...
My Kids/Husband.
Finances.
Relatives.
Job Security.
The Cars.
The House.
The Garden.
The Dog.
My Appearance.
The Weather.
Safety and Security.
Getting Lost.
On a Broader Scale...
World Hunger.
War.
Dictatorships.
Human/Civil Rights.
Natural Disasters/Devastation.
Orphaned Children.
The World Market.
I used to feel that being the consummate worrier that I am, was maybe a good thing. It meant that I took things seriously. That I was cautious and therefore well-informed before going forth. That maybe fear was an asset because it helped me to make better/safer decisions.
Unfortunately, I have also realized that by being so worrisome, it has caused me to miss/forfeit opportunities. To hold back on taking some chances. To stunt my growth in certain areas of my life, and worst of all, to develop an anxiety issue.
Being anxious because of worry is never a good thing, unless you are considering jumping off the roof of a building, etc.
In knowing this about myself, I have made efforts in order to control my worry/anxiety/fear. I have to be constantly mindful of that little voice that enables me to dwell, causes me to lose sleep, and stops me from the spontaneity that is sometimes required in life.
I share this with you, dear reader, because I know that I am not the only one who has a difficult time with these issues. To let you know that I can empathize with you. To hold your hand while walking the fine line between realistic caution and concern, and over exaggerated worry and anxiety.
Peace of Mind comes with being able to balance these emotions, moving forward with confidence and care.
We all have something(s) we wish for.
We should all hold hope dear.
We all need to look up now and then.
We all seek Peace of Mind.
Go ahead, this wish is on me!
So simple.
So powerful.
So real.
Health, contentment, and faithfulness are my wish for you, dear reader.
May you find these things to be attainable and true.
Sometimes, no matter how focused and driven we are, we end up finding ourselves in situations that we would have never imagined ourselves being in, while wondering how in the heck we ended up there.
It's as though all of our efforts were done in futility.
But wait.
It's alright.
And please do not be disappointed in yourself.
There could be many reasons why your journey has taken a left in stead of right (and visa-versa) turn. You may become aware of some of them sooner rather than later. And others will not show themselves but in an epiphany or two (or three and so on) much later on.
We must learn to accept these situations in faith, that maybe there are other forces around (based on your belief system) that have guided you to this place in life, in order to serve a greater purpose for yourself and in some instances, for those around you.
With this acceptance comes the Peace Of Mind that is needed to relax and enjoy this place that we find ourselves in, even though, we may have never intended to be here.
